#WE ARE NORMAL AND HAVE NORMAL DISCUSSIONS LIKE ACTUALLY

[horreurscopes]

the whole adhd going trendy thing that's now being discussed in, like, npr podcasts (insofar as tiktok is an extension of "the mainstream") is fascinating because that was basically a stage of self actualization that tumblr went through, like, at least three or four years ago. y'know; that's not a symptom of adhd, that's a common human experience. everyone forgets to eat produce in the fridge sometimes. everyone's mind occasionally wanders during a conversation, and so on.

but at least in circles of tumblr with critical thinking skills this has led to better insights, "culturally" (as in - people here don't have to go looking themselves for anti-psychiatry literature to encounter these ideas; it is something that can be absorbed via osmosis if one is interested in social justice and sees relevant topics on the dashboard, which i think is generally a good thing), about the systems of oppression that lead people to attach themselves to these medicalized labels; why, for example, a diagnosis that means "there is something broken in my biological make-up that makes me ontologically unable to complete tasks, and therefore it is not my fault, nor a moral reflection of my character, if i am unable to work myself to exhaustion" might be so appealing to so many people in a society where creating capital for the ruling class via wage slavery is a sign of virtue; and what incentives the psychiatric institution may have to both diagnose and medicate people to fix "can't work" syndrome.

(and yes, people here still debate to exhaustion what "actually adhd" vs, lets say, "culturally adhd" means; but that's not what this post is about. to me it is very similar to the chemical imbalance model of depression: is it likely there are certain individuals who one day, simply and for no reason, experience their ability to feel joy "turning off"; or even individuals who are more genetically vulnerable to becoming depressed when faced with adverse circumstances [the way a tendency towards alcoholism can be inherited]; but these are a small number in comparison to the great majority of depression sufferers who would not be labelled "mentally ill", were it not for the systemic circumstances one is unable to escape, and consequently, cope with.)

and yet now that this conversation has reached the "mainstream", it boggles the mind that the conclusion even the most liberal cultural outlets reach all basically amount to "we need better, more accurate diagnostic tools" and a call for more nuance in psychiatry, so as to better distinguish those "real" sufferers of broken brain disease, who are then allowed to use stimulant drugs to be shaped back into the rank and file (aka, people who have a magical brain that reacts in a special, morally acceptable way to stimulant drugs as long as they are not used recreationally), from the "fakers", who need to grit their teeth through their personal failure to make themselves do shit they would not choose to do were it not for the threat of starvation, homelessness and death, and pull themselves up by their bootstraps (aka, people who have normal non-magical brains which respond to stimulant drugs in dirty, hedonistic, cheating-the-system ways).

and not, you know, the fact that "working yourself to death doing dull boring punishing work" culture might be the biggest cause for people identifying with "really struggle to work myself to death doing dull boring punishing work" syndrome, or than an institution founded on categorizing people via their inability to conform to a set of social norms that do not exist in an apolitical vacuum, might have an incentive to create a label for it.

[sossegato]

"In many ways I would consider myself a radical feminist."

Would that be exclusively in your mind? 'Cause you know we can just see your blog, and not only is it not even remotely rad-aligned, it's hardly feminist-aligned. There's about zero posts about women's issues or anything else you're accusing us of ignoring (PLENTY of posts accepting at face-value of trans identities, though, would you look at that).

You just added this little caveat to deflect from the fact you don't read radfems and know fuck all about it or what we habitually discuss, just like every single other post of this kind that's been poppping up.

"Women around the world are being raped, murdered, mutilated, and trafficked"

By who? Like, how does that happen? Are they all just tripping and falling into murder and assault? Who's doing that to them? Who does every statistic database ever indicate are the perpetrators of these crimes? What does it say on the "sex" box?

"and all you talk about is whether a group of people (who experience misogyny, btw) get to be considered women?"

Oh, you do know who.

"Go donate to an organization helping little girls get an education or something."

Women's organizations? You mean anti-trans hate groups? Careful with that, bigot.

"It's so disingenuous and I truly think it's a distractor from much bigger issues."

So, it's disingenuous to discuss how women have lost the right to self-congregate, at the risk of being taken to court on a Human Rights violation charge, like in Australia?

It's disingenuous to discuss how trans activists have so far managed to defund two rape shelters for women? From Canada to Tokyo? And how the Edinburgh Rape Crisis Center had to apologize to survivors refusing them the service they alleged to provide?

That female athletes have suffered life-altering injuries competing with males? That female athletes have lost countless and counting spots to males which easily beat their scores with their own male-average ones? That female athletes have lost countless and counting awards, sponsors and their entire careers by merely pointing out the well-documented differences between the sexes in sport performance, or that they should just get to have their own leagues 'cause it should be their right to (a right trans activists simultaneously insist they absolutely have and shouldn't have anyway).

That children and minors are being unnecessarily medicalised and subjected to elective surgery which will impact their development permanently? That it's been proven, by admission of gender clinicians themselves, that these interventions can prevent them from normal sexual development, depriving them of the capacity to orgasm when adults? That'll cause them a variety of endocrine and reproductive dysfunctions, increased risk of cardiovascular disease, premature osteoporosis?

That trans activists have adopted conversion therapy rhetoric verbatim to refer to the gay community? That the mere definition of our sexual orientation has been deemed transphobic? That this is all again publicly accepted?

It's disingenuous to bring up males in female prisons and consequential sexual assaults? It's just no fucking biggie?

All of this is just distracting from what you think actually matters, which is... the same issues, except only if it doesn't mention when and how trans people are involved.

I see.

My problem with TERFs is not the radical feminism part. In many ways I would consider myself a radical feminist. My problem is that TERFs focus their activism on being anti trans women when they're not even 1% of the world's population. Women around the world are being raped, murdered, mutilated, and trafficked, and all you talk about is whether a group of people (who experience misogyny, btw) get to be considered women? Go donate to an organization helping little girls get an education or something. It's so disingenuous and I truly think it's a distractor from much bigger issues.

[utilitycaster]

You know, something that never sat quite right with me is the defense of Bells Hells constantly having the same argument as "realistic" not just because "realistic" doesn't mean "compelling to watch"...but also because this isn't actually realistic in like, functional groups.

I was involved in a number of clubs in college and was on the board of several; I am on an alumni board for a university club I was in as an undergrad. I've been in a leadership role in an independent congregation and a member of several political interest groups in adulthood. I've also been an indirect manager (think team lead for a specific project but not the person people report to regularly) in a professional setting - and those are just formalized settings and not just hanging out with friends or smaller group projects.

The idea that it's normal and relatable to have a group of people who just endlessly and repeatedly provide their perspective and argument without any sort of resolution is one of those "wait, you live like this?" moments. During debates, such as for board elections or in one case, a very emotionally heightened decision to eject a member who had been credibly accused of wrongdoing against another, the phrase that got used once everyone had had a chance to talk and address any questions was, essentially, "will further discussion change anyone's mind." Because that is ultimately the purpose of discussion - to make sure everyone has all the information, and to allow everyone an opportunity to speak their piece in the service of ultimately coming to a decision. Discussion about a course of action is not an end point in itself, and there comes a time where you have to say "your feelings are valid but your talking isn't going to change anyone's mind at this point and we need to move forward in some manner."

Romanticizing endless tiresome indecision feels no different to me than romanticizing some other utterly unnecessary behavior like, I don't know, hustle culture. If your friends can't decide on a restaurant for 2 hours (or 2 months) then either do a rotating schedule, decide to meet for coffee/drinks/a bring-your-own-stuff picnic, or if this is food as part of a longer outing, don't be afraid to split up for a small part of it. If you can't decide what to do in a group project, assign a leader or take it to a vote and provide a clear tie-break condition. Flip a coin, if nothing else can be done. But you do not have to live like this; really, it just takes one person to speak up and say "we've been talking in circles for two hours and I'm exhausted; does anyone have new information or a concern that wasn't brought up or is it time to call it?" And your life will be immeasurably better the day you decide to be that person whenever relevant.

[avifaunaa]

share your soul with me [ unzip your skin, let me have a see ] [ l.m. + s.s. ] [ pt. 2 ]

Authors Note: Well I got a lot of positive feedback on that first part — thank you so much! Here’s much awaited part two!

Masterlist

PART ONE

Pairing: Lottie Matthews x fem!reader x Shauna Shipman

Summary: Newly presented and thrown into your first heat cycle while battling an environment that seeks to kill all of you, you hide away in the attic to ride it out and hope you can mentally survive the aftermath. But your cries seem to attract Lottie and Shauna into your orbit — leaving the three of you with choices you’re not sure any of you can handle.

Content Warnings: Again, this is an A/B/O fic so that’s what you’re getting into here. I’m not responsible for your content intake — please remember that and enjoy!

Within regular Yellowjackets dynamics: Descriptions of injuries and illnesses, death and blood, discussions of + actual cannibalism, canon-typical violence, cult-like behaviors, the Wilderness being the Wilderness

Within A/B/O dynamics: pack / power dynamics, gender-norm discussions within ABO context, heat/rut cycles, presenting, dubious consent due to r's heat, descriptions of heat cycles/ruts, some softness, fingering, female alphas get big-clit-syndrome in rut [ sort of penises i guess? ], bottom!reader, top!lottie, switchy!Shauna [ she crept up on me, your honor ], handjobs [ l -> s ], blowjobs / deep throating [ shauna -> r ], knotting [ lottie + shauna -> R ], begging [ r ], praise kink [ r ], breeding kink [ NO PREGNANCY ], mating + mating bites, anal [ lottie -> r ], double penetration, normal vulgar language from me, major aftercare -- THIS IS THE FILTHIEST THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN

Word Count: ~9k

The burning started one day after being secluded to the attic. It wasn’t a creeping on sensation like your biology textbooks would describe, it was brutal.

You had forgone clothes when sweat started soaking through the material, the below-degree temperature doing little to soothe your sensitive skin. You should be freezing, body responding with goosebumps and cold shakes.

But you were so hot, and in so much fucking pain. You tried putting a hand between your legs to ease the ache that seemed to be sourced there.

Your hand came away wet and sticky, the orgasms you reached unsatisfying and leaving you more distressed. That’s when the low, guttural cry for something you couldn’t place began.

Food was dropped off when you slept, nesting materials sometimes provided as well. Eating was both a chore and a requirement — your stomach churned when you brought strips of meat to your lips to consume, but you were losing more calories now than normal.

Day four in your new heat cycle was not proving to ease your pains. You wondered if this was a punishment for presenting late, walking around in a skin you didn’t really belong in.

“ — then you can leave,” a harsh, snarling voice woke you. “She’s in pain, Jackie, we can —“

“That’s my fucking sister,” retorted the strained voice of your sister, who sounded like she was just at the stairs to the attic. “You can’t be seriously considering . . .”

“Jackie,” a more calm, soothing croon followed. You whined at the sound of it, a longing tug in your chest almost pulling you from your nest to go to it. It was Lottie, Lottie, yes she could . . . “Jackie, we can help her. I know what . . . I know it doesn’t seem good, but wouldn’t you rather it be us than anyone else?”

Jackie snarled, a sound that was full of reproach and desperation. “So you can use her to get your dicks wet and then leave her in the aftermath? She doesn’t need the heartache on top of this.”

Shauna’s low huffing sigh was a reply to the question. Then you heard her say, voice husky, “We won’t do that — just — pump and dump. That’s not Lottie’s style, or mine. She needs help, Jacks. Help you can’t provide her.”

The scents of frustrated Alpha drifted through the cracks of the floors and walls, surrounding you in a cocoon of displeasure and forcing your throat to croon out noises you still couldn’t believe you could make.

Softening noises to ease the tension and pressures of upset Alphas — uniquely Omega in their making that flipped some sort of hindbrain switch in an Alpha brain. Traits that long stopped being necessary for survival, but left over in the human evolution process.

It quieted below you as shuffling followed your cry.

“Be gentle — I — don’t hurt her.” Your sister, hesitant and pained as she spoke, now further away.

“We won’t — we won’t, Jackie,” Shauna said firmly. “She’s pack, she’s one of us. That’s why we need to help her. Okay?”

Your sister didn’t offer a response, but there seemed to be a lightening in her scent as floorboards cracked and her familiar presence started leaking away.

It was quiet for a few seconds other than your heavy, uneven breathing that felt suffocating around you. Your own scent was dizzying even to you; you wondered how the rest of the pack wasn't at one another's throats right now.

The creaking of the attic's latter snapped your attention sharply toward the closed hatch. Waiting, burning, until it opened without being knocked and the strong, intoxicating smell of Shauna Shipman struck you.

The whine that left you was guttural and desperate. You wished for the self-control you had before presenting had stayed, but alas.

Shauna's form fit through the entrance and the instant your eyes locked, they darkened but her features softened in a look you did not think existed in Shauna Shipman's face gallery.

She strode toward you but your attention was caught on another Alpha's scent curling through Shauna's. Lottie slipped through after, and she was turning to shut the hatch that sealed the three of you in the attic. Together.

"Omega," Shauna crooned lowly, stalking forward until she was just inches away from your poorly constructed nest. Her eyes flickered along the bundle you had managed to create with what you were provided. "You look cozy in the nest. Doesn't she, Lottie?"

Lottie was just pulling up next to Shauna, and her gaze flickered at the sight of you. "A very good nest," she agreed. "It looks like it could hold two more."

And then your mood shifted, a sour curl of your lips revealing your teeth as you locked your slick-coated thighs together and started the two Alphas down.

Come into the nest? Without proving they can provide? Keep safe? The nerve! A petulant thought stream coursed through you out of left field.

Shauna raised her hands in an appeasing gesture. “Hey,” she murmured at the same time as brain relaxing pheromones were released from where she stood. “It’s okay. We aren’t going to touch your nest — unless you want us to,” she added.

Lottie blinked, glancing awkwardly at the fellow Alpha. Shauna ignored her attempt at questioning and your eyes shifted from one woman to the other cautiously.

“We want you to want to invite us,” the brunette continued easily, crouching down so she was more eye-level with your prone form. “What can we do to get to come in?”

Your throat was dry as you swallowed, wetting your dried lips and shifting your body to ease the ache that only worsened with their closeness.

“Clothes,” you rasped, eyeing the jacket she wore. You could line the weak barrier on your right with it and it would be doused in the scent. “Nest. Need a good nest.”

Shauna’s lips curled just so, a flicker in her eyes that went over your head. “Okay, Omega. We will provide for your nest.” She turned her chin to Lottie without removing her gaze from you. “Both of us?”

You took a moment to consider it, letting your newly unlocked senses do what they were designed to do and decide based on your body’s reaction.

Then you nodded, a small gesture of approval. You liked both of their scents mingled and neither of them upset your brand new nervous system. “Both.”

“Good girl,” Shauna crooned again, starting to peel off the leather jacket at the same time as Lottie began to undo her heavier coat. “Thank you for telling us.”

Lottie sat on her heels next to Shauna and offered her jacket first while Shauna was content to keep you waiting. You sat up, the trapped heat underneath you escaping.

Shauna’s throat bobbed as she watched you creep forward toward Lottie’s outreached offer.

Like a flash you snagged the coat and turned away from them both, starting to line the thick piece of clothing around the least sturdy part of your nest. You could feel them staring at your back and simply knew they could see the slick actively leaking down your thighs.

A soft growl started behind but you ignored it until you felt like you had gotten the coat intertwined just so.

Your heart was racing as you turned back around, not sure how the Alphas would react to the addition, the change to your temporary safe haven.

Shauna’s knuckles were buried in her jacket and she appeared to be trembling, or resisting her instincts in some way.

Lottie was oddly still, unreadable, her palms still open in the position she had held the jacket.

You shivered a little at their attentions. “Nest,” you murmured in quiet relief. Your body shifted slightly toward Shauna. “Nest?”

Shauna blinked rapidly for a moment, then she moved her arms so that the jacket crossed the threshold of the entrance to your nest, jacket offered.

You eyed her and placed a hand on top of the jacket. “Come in,” you said hesitantly, licking your lips again. “Don’t mess anything up.”

Both Alphas released low noises that could’ve been confused as a purr, but it wasn’t. It was a gesture of acceptance, meant to ease the tension an Omega feels without crossing boundaries or sending signals that a purr might.

They followed you delicately as you went to the corner where your pillow was and added Shauna’s lettermen to the stack of limp clothes and making it slightly firmer.

When you were satisfied with the addition, you turned fully to two the two Alphas who had crawled into your nest with so much gentleness that your heart throbbed. You sat on your bare knees and waited until they were settled.

It was Lottie who extended her hand first after the few moments of silence. "Will you let us care for you, Omega? Let us put a damper on the heat?"

Shauna twitched in place, continuing to hold herself back despite how her fingers clenched into her jeans. Her throat bobbed as those eyes scorched across your bare body.

You whined low and unsure as the thought of them running their hands along their body sent a flicker of desire across your brain -- and rousing the attention of the new Omega part of you. She was interested, she was in pain.

And so were you.

"Y-yes," you whispered, your tongue dry as your underused voice answered. "Please. Hurts."

Shauna moved first but Lottie shot an arm out to stop her as her dark eyes held you in their entrapment. Shauna huffed but did not cross the barrier Lottie made with her limb.

It would seem their roles had shifted as soon as they had entered your nest. Shauna was now seemingly beyond sentences and her restraint was on a thin rubber-band like stretch.

Lottie smiled at you then, her features softening as she lowered her arm at the same time as dominance-induced pheromones started pumping out from her. Shauna took the hint and stayed where she was -- which would have shocked you if you were able to think beyond your Omega hindbrain.

Shauna, Alpha of Alphas, was ceasing dominance to Lottie. At least . . . for now.

"We'll take care of you, that's all we want," Lottie told you as she started to slowly shuffle in your direction without messing up your carefully procured nest. "We'll get you through it, satisfy your heat. Would you like that, 'Mega?"

You nodded furiously, garbled noises that would have been words spilling from your throat.

"Yeah," Lottie murmured as though she understood the nonsense you sputtered, now touching your knees with her own. "Yeah, I bet you're just so needy right now. Wet and throbbing."

"So wet," you whimpered as you were reminded of such a fate, clenching your thighs together until the sides of your knees touched. The minor pressure sent shuddering waves through, the clenching feeling good and painful and not enough --

"Shh," the older brunette crooned, hand resting on one of your knees. The reaction was instantaneous; your body jerked forward and your knee pushed into the soft touch. "It's okay, it'll be okay now."

"Please," you repeat, "it hurts. I need . . ."

Why couldn't you finish the sentence? Why did your mind blank out every ten seconds when clarity tried to return?

“We know what you need,” Lottie said sharply, silencing your pathetic whimpering as she began to strip down right there. “Be a good girl and start putting these in the nest.”

You took the clothes as they were given to you. Lottie had another piece ready when you were done with the previous, and when she was completely naked, Shauna started doing the same thing until nothing was left.

A rush of comfort overwhelmed you in that moment — security from both the additions and the Alphas who willingly provided for it. You were safe, your Alphas would keep you safe.

When you settled back into the place you had been curled up for the last couple of days, Lottie crawled forward. “It’s a perfect nest, perfect to see to your heat in.”

Your thighs clenched again. “Please.”

“Yes,” Lottie soothed, a hand resting on your ankle. The touch was both icy cold and fire hot against your sensitive skin. You wanted more, wanted it gone, you didn’t know what you wanted.

Shauna crept up to the other side Lottie wasn’t occupying, her gaze having grown intense and heavy on you as she reached out to brush her thumb against your pebbled nipple.

Your reaction was sudden, your hips lifting as the electric pulse coursed through you. You wanted her touch more, wanted it all over you.

“Inside,” you managed to rasp, the slow spread of your legs snapping both women’s eyes downward as you exposed your cunt to them.

“Inside?” Lottie repeated with a questioning lilt of her voice. Her thumb kept a rhythmic brush on your nipple as she stared, taking some sort of pleasure from the response your body gave.

“So sensitive,” Shauna muses absently, eyes locked onto you in a way that should have been unsettling. She was a hungry predator, and here you were as her prey beneath her drooling jaws.

“Mhm.” Like a shot, the thumb paused. The pad of it pressed down instead, pushing your nipple just so.

“Stop,” you whined. “Hurts.”

Shauna’s chest rumbled from her sit next to you, a sudden switch from her husky teasing only moments before. “We need to put her out of her pain, Lottie, not cause more.”

Lottie’s gaze barely flickered, but her fingers finally moved downward across your abdomen. There was an intense pause when they barely made contact with your mound and found the slick that had built up there.

“God,” she whispered, adjusting her stance. She now straddles you with her knees holding legs open, exposing you more to the cool air as she stared down. “Do all Omegas get this wet in their first heat?”

“Does she seem like she knows?” Shauna asked flatly, fingers carding through your sweaty hair.

Lottie ignored her as usual. Her throat bobbed as she started exploring you, not caring her fingers were soaked just by running them along your folds.

She watched for your reaction every so often and when the squirming became almost too much, a finger finally entered your cunt and your stomach clenched at the same time as your head dropped back on top of the makeshift pillow you made.

Lottie was in awe. She and Shauna knew, coming up into the attic, that you were deep in the throes of this torment and it did not seem to have an end without an Alpha’s help.

Shauna was doing well — she had fucked Lottie like a beast before they’d gone to Jackie to propose their plan to help you out and it had leveled her head out and her restraint was making Lottie proud.

In fact, Lottie was surprised how easily Shauna ceded dominance to her. She was Jackie’s second in command in all things, Lottie was nowhere near that level in the pack hierarchy and both of them were very aware of it.

Yet . . .

As she slid the first finger into your waiting heat, immediately met with a reaction that would normally drive Shauna crazy, the brunette simply watched Lottie and kept soothing fingers in your hair as you arched up and strained your neck from the unspeakable sensation it caused you.

“You’re doing so good,” Lottie crooned as your walls clenched around her finger, tight and holding. “Do you want another? You’re pretty wet.”

Your response was a garble of indecipherable noises and a gasp.

Shauna put pressure in your scalp — Lottie watched as her grip tightened just enough to grab your attention. Your eyes were foggy, unmistakably checked out with your brain being drowned in pheromones and heat.

“Can you answer Lottie, baby?” Shauna rasped once the Omega’s eyes lazily cycled toward her. You blinked.

“Hurts,” you said simply. “Need you.”

“You’ve got us,” Shauna purred, the noise cutting and out of practice from lack of use. It didn’t seem to matter though, not with the way your body seemed to go slack and you returned her purr.

Shauna shot Lottie a small glance, a confirmation.

Lottie inserted another finger while her thumb sought out your clit, rubbing soft circles to coax out some pleasure to mask the pain your heat was causing.

What she wasn’t expecting was the immediate orgasm that started wracking your frame. It was quieter than all the other noises you’d been letting out, a soft whine as your walls clenched hard around Lottie’s fingers.

It wasn’t long before more wetness followed the orgasm, forcing Lottie out of your cunt before she was truly ready. It soaked your thighs and ass.

“You barely touched her,” Shauna said lowly, eyes darkened and expression twisted in shock. It was unexpected for both of them — they knew you were sensitive but this . . .

This wasn’t what they were assuming would happen. Not this quickly.

“How’d that feel, Omega?” Lottie questioned, pressing a kiss to the knee near her chin that had curled during the orgasm. “Take the edge off?”

You sniffled in reply, one of your arms covering your eyes. You radiated a scent of both content and distress, which caused Lottie’s Alpha to run confused circles in her chest.

She hated that this was how you had to experience it — your first heat. She had presented young, like most Alphas and Omegas do, and her first rut happened at fifteen. She had been told two years in advance what to expect, how to feel — Omegas did not get that luxury. They got their first heat one to two weeks after initial presentation.

Not only were you presenting late, your first heat was not eased by comforts modern technology and creations were provided to ease your pain and discomfort. You should be at home in a lovely nest with proper nesting material they advertised and you could have picked out.

You should be treated to whatever food you wanted, fed to you by your Alpha [ preferably herself and Shauna, she couldn’t help but think ] as proof of ability to provide and care for you.

Most of all, Lottie hated that her ability to see you through this in the proper way and not out of necessity. The pack had been great about it, but your distress had grown and all of them had been restless and aggressive the longer you emitted those pheromones.

“Lot.” Shauna grasped her chin and jerked her forward slightly. The paler brunette leaned over your body to get Lottie’s focus, running a chapped finger across her jawline. “Come back to us.”

Her breath was warm on Lottie’s face, her scent swirling around her in the comforting embrace she had come to adore so deeply. This thing with Shauna . . . It was before this. Before the crash. Before the Wilderness.

You’d made this decision together as paired Alphas. Jackie had given her blessing.

And you were now watching her, too, with the clearest eyes she’d seen on you since they’d entered the attic. Your body was cooling down under her touch, a reprieve until the heat took over again and you became lost to reason.

Your cheeks were red, stained dry from your tears. But you did not push Lottie away, her cheek still pressed to your knee and fingers covered in your slick still close to your cunt.

“Thank you,” she rasped with a sniffle. “Can we cuddle?”

Shauna still held your chin, lips pursed as she searched her fellow Alpha’s face for any signs of distress she couldn’t detect with her nose.

Lottie pulled herself from her head and the what-ifs and should-bes. The you that was here needed Lottie present, to comfort and care for her in the way she could in this moment.

She smiled, hand not covered in you reaching up to take Shauna’s fingers from your chin and interlace them instead. She then turned her focus to you, a hopeful small look lingering in your eyes.

“We can cuddle until you need us again,” Lottie confirms, crawling from between your legs and settling on the other side of you Shauna wasn’t occupying, but not unlacing her fingers from the other Alpha’s.

The three of you settled into the calm. The only sign of the world falling apart in that moment was the snowstorm raging on outside of the cabin, but even that lulled all of you to sleep.

The next time you woke up was the most pain you think you’ve ever experienced. And you broke your wrist and four fingers that one time when you were a kid.

Jackie had been furious — but there had been nothing to properly redirect that rage toward considering your injury was a result of you climbing the tree in your backyard much higher than you’d ever done.

This pain . . . It was all encompassing. Your stomach was twisted into tight, unwindable knots that flared up when you tried to readjust.

Your thighs were raw and sore — likely from the slick that kept leaking and drying, leaving your skin irritated in response. You’d read that this was a common side effect of late presenting Omegas, wherein their body is not caught up in being accustomed to the new Omega traits and hormones. Allergic reactions were common for the first couple of months after late presentations.

You were no different.

You shuddered when a ripple of need coursed across your spine. Lottie was laying behind you, based on the scent clinging to your skin, while Shauna kept her face tucked in your neck as she used her body as a blanket for you.

“S-Shauna,” you whispered, moving slightly beneath her.

Brown eyes shot open, clearing out as consciousness returned to her at a startlingly fast rate. She swallowed and peered down at you, a hand rising to steady herself and curling around your arm as she moved her face.

“Hey,” she whispered back, rubbing slowly back and forth. “You’re warm.”

“Need you,” you admitted, but your eyes also strayed to the water that was left for the three of you sometime over night when the smaller provision had been gone through quickly. “Bad.”

Shauna’s eyes followed yours and she nodded once. Then jerked Lottie awake with her food jabbing into the taller Alpha’s thigh.

A grunt echoed in the attic as Lottie jostled around before finally sitting up. “Shauna, really?”

“Omega needs water,” Shauna stated obviously, her face impassive as she waited for Lottie to hand over the resource.

Lottie's eyes lit up in recognition and she nodded as she turned herself over so she could reach for the water requested. She turned back over once she had poured some into one of the makeshift bowls and tilted it to your lips.

You drank ravenously, not stopping even when some spilled down your bare chest. It was soothing if nothing else -- easing the inflamed skin.

"Good girl," Shauna murmured, nails catching some tangles in your hair and working them out gently before carding them through all over again, "Drink as much as you need."

You did. When the cup was empty and you no longer felt parched, you watched as Lottie returned the cup toward the bucket of water through hooded eyes.

"Think you could eat something?" Shauna asked, drawing your attention back to the purring Alpha who's touch was surrounding you in all the ways that mattered but didn't seem to meet the needs between your legs.

You shook your head -- the mere image of food right now was nauseating.

"Food rejection," Lottie said as her hand settled across your hip, "I think she's at her peak."

Shauna seemed inclined to agree. "No use trying and upsetting her, I suppose." Though she did not look entirely pleased at leaving you unfed.

Lottie caught the frown on her face the same time you did, and she reached across your form to settle a hand on the other Alpha's where it was stroking patterns into your stomach. "Hey. She'll be okay -- she's been very good at communicating her needs to us this far. She may be more open to eating something after we knot her."

Your brain emptied at that last statement, though it was beginning to grow fuzzy quickly beforehand; the way Lottie and Shauna spoke as if you weren't there, the light not-enough touches, the rumbling deep in their chests that vibrated through your bones.

But the mention of knotting --

"Mm, look at this."

When had you shifted onto your stomach, moved your face into the sad little nest you had prepared and shifted your hips for them?

Your Omega snarled that it did not matter, that you were thinking far too much about miniscule things when Alphas were here to help you with your heat . . . should you only ask nicely and be sweet.

You started loosening the control of your lifetime of humanity -- the years and years disguised as a Beta. It was a life you had known for so long but your Omega was ready to guide you through this first heat, if you only let her.

You did.

A small noise of chirping started leaving your lips at the same time as your raw knees began to shift to hold your weight in order to present your ass outward in offer to Lottie and Shauna: to your Alphas.

"Look at this," Shauna's deepened voice rumbled and then hands slid over the curve of your exposed ass, thumbs pressing into the skin a little more tenderly than the rest of her hands. "Fuck, look at her."

Lottie's eyes were narrowed, keeping a hazy focus on the position you and Shauna had taken from her spot. Her jaw clenched briefly, then, "Get under her."

Shauna blinked. "What?"

Lottie was already on her knees and ready to take the co-captain's spot, the stench of dominance beginning to leak from the scent glands on her neck and wrists. Shauna's body twitched -- just barely -- in response.

"You heard me," Lottie said calmly, not so much as curling her lip at Shauna despite the pheromones she poured out, "We're both going to take her and I need you in her cunt."

Shauna's chest fell slightly and your neck was still straining to keep looking toward them. But then she nods and makes her way back up toward you. Already you could see it -- her clit. It was morphing into a cock -- a cock to fuck, to fuck and knot, to knot and --

You were jostled and hoisted upward quickly. A yelp escaped from you before you could stop it but it was hushed by Lottie's thin fingers running lines down your spine as Shauna settled you atop her lap, where the hardness in her lap started poking into your thigh.

"Good girl, good Omega," Lottie purred as soon as the adjustment was made without easing up on her hand movements along her back. "I know, you didn't expect us to move you, huh?"

You shook your head, head dropping against Shauna's collarbone. You couldn't really complain being removed from the comfort of your nest -- you had two Alpha's against you again, touching you everywhere, and --

Soft lips pressed against the mating gland just under your ear; an unexpected shockwave of endorphins shot through your system and you jerked against Shauna's hips. The Alpha responded in turn, grunting and grinding up into your thigh.

Lottie's laugh was musical and mischievous.

"Lottie," Shauna gritted out, her fingers ironclad on your hips but the tremble in her arms was felt by all three of you.

"You're big," you whispered before you could stop yourself, meeting Shauna's big brown eyes.

A twitch against your thigh and the swirl of pleased pheromones, arousal drenched.

"Oh, she liked that," Lottie commented as she leaned over you again and ran teeth along the sensitive skin of your shoulder. You felt a hand reaching between the two of you and Shauna jerked against you.

Movement caused you to lift your heavy body to look down as best you could -- and the sight sent slick down your cunt you were sure. Lottie had a hand wrapped around Shauna's extended cock where her clit once was, slowly running her palm up and down, fingers squeezing at the base where a puffy ring of skin was beginning to form.

"Isn't she so pretty, Omega?" Lottie crooned, allowing your focus to stay on where her hand was keeping steady movements even as Shauna's hips were jerking up as Lottie's hand moved down. You came to realize it was her knot that was forming at the base, and Lottie was adding extra pressure to it each time around.

Shauna's nails dug into your skin as she dropped her head back against the sad pillows you had made for your nest, thrusting weakly into Lottie's hand as you tried to remain still between the two Alphas.

Then Lottie stopped.

A whine so desperate you almost thought it was your own left Shauna's throat as her hips lifted up, but Lottie had her cock in a firm grip, unable to find the pleasure she sought.

"Answer me, sweetheart," Lottie whispered, her lips once again finding home on your mating gland. The musky smell of Shauna's pleasure and three people's arousal was sending you into a fuzzy mindspace you weren't sure how to handle.

"Please," Shauna added, husky and more needy than you've ever seen Shauna Shipman in your life. Only for Lottie . . . and now you.

Another wave of heat burst through you and you swallowed down the wave of fear and uncertainty that tried to escape from your reasonable brain, instead getting out, "S-she's pretty. Shauna you're so . . . I wish it were in me, I bet it would make me feel good. So good."

"That's a good Omega," Lottie praised, then the sound of slick movement filled the attic and Shauna's stomach muscles tensed so tight you wondered if she would give herself a hernia. "Look at this, her knot is already so big and she's not even inside of you yet. I think you should lean down, Omega. Put it in your mouth. Take her cum since it can't go into your cunt yet."

A moan left you and Shauna in that exact moment and through shaky limbs, and Lottie's help, you found yourself face to face with Shauna's shaft. It rested just above her cunt where clit normally would be, and you'd seen enough anatomy drawings to not be shocked -- but the real thing is still . . . surprising. Especially when Shauna was larger than anatomy drawings.

Lottie's fingers curled into your hair and pushed your head, gently but firmly, downward, "Go on," the brunette Alpha encouraged, "bring Alpha to pleasure and we'll in turn bring you yours. Be a good Omega and do your duty."

The comment was so un-Lottie that if any other Alpha had said it to you, you'd have reared back and called for Jackie to suckerpunch them. But the way your thighs remained soaked with your slick right now . . . and how your Omega was a mess, your brain was a mess . . .

You swallowed and looked over the tip at Shauna, who had adjusted slightly so she was sitting up and staring at you through a heavy gaze. You started with kitten licks, offering small test suckles to see what got her squirming and what did not get a reaction.

And then Lottie shoved your head down, until you were choking at the base of Shauna's knot as the Alpha's hips thrusted against your face in shock, moaning out her surprise.

"There we go," Lottie cooed as she massaged the base of your neck as your throat did its' best to accommodate the length, neither Alpha seeming to care about the gagging. Though, in reality, Lottie kept a close eye on it. She did note the way your thighs violently clenched and how you were trying not to rub yourself along Shauna's leg.

"Lottie, Jesus Christ," Shauna sputtered, eyes wide as she stared at her mate behind you. "Her f-first time."

"Better she learn now then," Lottie mentions sweetly, almost mocking, as she used her other hand to rub soothing circles in your back and noticing how your head began to slowly bob up and down Shauna's shaft. "Oh and what a quick learner, isn't she?"

Shauna released an inhumane noise as her hand knocked Lottie's away to tangle in your hair, her hips stuttering in an attempt to keep from being rough with you as she fucked your throat.

In truth, Lottie's plan was seeded with reason: she jerked Shauna off to test the waters and see how wet you got, how aroused the sight of her cock and Shauna's desperation made you, added in with Lottie's overwhelming dominance.

She needed you extremely aroused and ready for both of them if they were to sate your heat in the way it needed to be sated in the only way it could be without modern technology to help the three of them out here.

"You're both doing so well," Lottie threw out assuredly, "My best girls."

Shauna was close -- the way her lip curled back and a stench of dominant, challenging pheromones struck Lottie in response to the praise told it all. Shauna's ability to submit and dominate came and went, but she's always been unpredictable. Lottie has come to ride out the waves of these changes over time and she only smirked at Shauna, showing teeth at the rutting Alpha.

Shauna snarled aloud, her body jerking suddenly. You made a noise, strangled out by Shauna's cock, and Shauna held Lottie's gaze as she came straight down your throat, fingers keeping a tight hold in your hair as she bristled and asserted herself.

Lottie's eyes twinkled as Shauna's release overtook her -- the pleasure was shaking Shauna, she could tell through the shared mating bond, but her Alpha forced her to keep her gaze and focus on Lottie as she spurted her release and waited for Lottie to back down.

You whined beneath both of them as Shauna's cock softened just enough for the knot to be less inflated and so that she wasn't coming so much. let you go and moved her hand to your cheek, eyes softening considerably when they left Lottie, who had not backed down first.

"You did so good," Shauna whispered, voice strained as she wiped away some spilled cum from your chin. "Thank you."

You rested your chin on her thigh, feeling spent without even having had an orgasm yet. Your body was on fire, sure, but your brain was alight with emotions.

"Do you need a break?" Lottie asked from above you, moving your hair to the side as she leaned down so she could look at you. "We need you ready and willing, not anything otherwise."

"Maybe some more water?" You did not mind the saltiness that Shauna left behind, but your throat was a little sore and you were sweating out everything you've already had to drink earlier. "And then I should be okay."

"You're more verbal today," Shauna said as she brought some water to you and held it up to you. You drank a little, washing the taste of Alpha away.

"Yeah, that's weird," you agreed.

"It may be because of us," Lottie said, her hands not having left you once. Still on your backs, your legs, massaging and rubbing -- soothing, reassuring, "You're pulled less into intensities of heat sickness so you can think a little more clearly."

"I don't feel like I'm thinking clearly," you admit to them as you finish the water and deny an offer of a refill. "I feel so fucking empty that I could have the most painful orgasm of my life if my clit is stimulated without something inside of me."

Shauna ran a hand across your damp temple, smile sympathetic. "That would be the heat, baby. We're going to take care of you now. Fill you so good that thinking will be . . . impossible, really."

And with that, your Omega came to life and pushed herself into the front of your brain all over again.

You found yourself in the same exact position you were in previously, in Shauna's lap with Lottie resting above you. This time, however, the hardness that Shauna hoisted was not going to be teased -- and by the time they had started talking you through it, you had stopped following along.

You were grinding against Shauna, slick and not with any sort of pattern as you did. Your nails were leaving little divots in Shauna's chest, above her breasts, but she did not seem to care as her awe-filled eyes watched you make an attempt to find a suitable position on her cock.

"Okay," Lottie murmured as she lifted your hips, which removed the stimulation you sought so needlingly. A low whine escaped your raspy throat and she returned it by kissing your gland. "Calm, Omega. I'm going to put you on her cock; slowly, so you do not hurt yourself. Can you be still for me?"

"Want it," you whispered, lost for full sentences as you clenched around nothing above Shauna. The Alpha in question's jaw was clenched tight as held her palms open, waiting to accept your hips and cunt with her cock.

But Lottie was determined to do this her way -- which meant easing you down slowly. The minute Shauna's shaft made contact with your overly slick pussy, all of you shuddered. She eased allowed you to sink down but forced your pace to be at her desire; which you would later be thankful for. Shauna was big. The stretch was intense and clenching around her did not help matters even though your body's responses were out of your control.

"Feels so good," you moaned as you collapsed against the Alpha beneath you, wracked with shivers and needing to take a moment. Shauna's arms wrapped around you, trembling in the same way your entire form seemed to be doing.

"Good, good girl," Lottie murmured as she released you and instead worked her hands down your thighs. You let her do what she wanted as you pulsed around the intrusion that both intensified and eased the undeniable heat inside of you.

"You're so big, Shauna, I--" You did not know what else to say, as your thighs locked around the brunette's muscled hips and thus forcing her further inside you. Both of you breathed out.

"You're giving me an ego," Shauna said, laughing weakly as she smiled at you in what she hoped was reassuring. It was in that look -- that smile -- that you came to a realization.

She's never knotted an Omega, perhaps never been with an Omega at all. You wanted to open your mouth, to ask questions maybe but the chance was gone when she started catching onto it.

Her cheeks turned red under your scrutiny and she suddenly grabbed your chin and jerked you forward into a searing kiss.

Your brain melted inside of your skull as you respond to the kiss in full, falling into it and starting to grind down your hips, desire flaring up now that the stretch had gone from burning to delicious.

"Fuck," she cursed into your mouth as she moved to meet your thrusts.

The feeling of it -- it was indescribable, it was raw and it was like getting into a cold bed after taking a hot shower after being outside and sweating all day, it was soothing an ache that before this had never seemed to leave.

The kiss broke when the tip of her shaft suddenly seemed to hit somewhere inside of you that not even you could ever reach -- now that you knew you were an Omega, maybe this was why previous partners couldn't either. It heightened your pleasure tenfold and the noises that left your mouth were absolutely abhorrent, you were sure.

"Lot, you gonna do something back there?" Shauna inquired breathlessly as she started using her left hip and bearing down on her right, thus angling her body upward, wrapping a leg around your waist to keep you steady and hitting that spot at a consistent rate.

It was overwhelming, it was going to kill you, it was --

Something wet started circling the muscles above your cunt without much pressure at first, probing carefully with slick while a hand crept down to play with your clit.

You came as soon as contact was made, the most powerful wave of earth-shattering pleasure taking over you like a possession and freezing you atop Shauna as your mouth opened in a silent scream.

That did not stop the brute strength of her thrusts, though. Her pupils were dilated as she pressed fingers to the back of your neck and jerked you down so your chests were pressed close. Her cock curved upward and only seemed to extend your orgasm longer.

Your head tilted back, and this time a moan did escape you nearly at the same moment where sharp teeth locked onto your neck and broke the soft patch of skin wherein your home-scent was contained.

Saliva and snarls and wails exploded in the attic but it was drowning quickly with another orgasm quickly following the second one before you had time to gather your bearings, the teeth still holding you firmly in place as something in the air shifted between you and the Alpha who was setting a newly punishing pace.

And then you felt it as your high was slowly beginning to ebb but not completely fading -- knowing another was to follow -- the tip of what you now came to understand was Lottie's cock at your ass.

"Shauna, I need you to keep her still for a second." She sounded underwater, but even then she was loud and demanding, putting all the dominance she had into that one order.

Even in the throes of her rut it paused Shauna's rhythm right where it was. Her teeth were not moving an inch, but she grumbled deep in her chest as she did as Lottie said and slowly eased both of your bodies flat into the nest, Lottie following, so that she could keep you still.

"Okay," Lottie breathed, palm splayed flat in the middle of your back as she shifted behind you. You so dearly wished you could move your neck to see what she was doing, but Shauna had your neck as a semi-permanent chew toy right now.

You did your best to keep still and relax for what came next despite the hard throbbing in your cunt that left you nearly twitching for movement.

Meanwhile Lottie ran a hand up and down her own shaft, slick with your juices and keeping you in place with her palm on your back. She was so fucking hard and wet at once that her own rut was getting to her head -- but she had to do this carefully or risk hurting you.

She wasn't as thick as Shauna was -- maybe perhaps a bit longer, but less of a stretch and likely more easy to take so she hoped this would both damper the Omega's heat more without being too much.

She took a deep breath, and when a small whine left the little creature below her she knew she needed to get to work.

Shauna's eyes looked up at Lottie as she slotted herself close to your ass and, using her hand, started to work herself into your tight hole.

A squeak was what Lottie was greeted with in return, your body jerking forward into Shauna and forcing the Alpha to finally let go of her mating mark on your neck.

She instead started peppering kisses along your face and making soft, soothing noises to soothe the Omega's hindbrain.

"You're taking it so well," Lottie decided to say, trying to be as contained as she could possibly manage when her cock was enveloped by the tightest heat she'd ever felt.

Even when she and Shauna spent their ruts together -- Shauna was tight but this . . .

Lottie and Shauna were not Omegas. This is what made the difference in sex -- they had a great sex life before, but Lottie wasn't sure they would have anything as great as this after.

"Hear that, little thing?" Shauna whispered in your ear, fingers tracing the outline of your lobe with pointed featheriness. "Takin' your other Alpha so perfect. You're making us proud."

Oh, you loved that. Both Alphas were rewarded with you clenching down and whining, muffled by your forehead dropping to bury into Shauna's shoulder as Lottie started moving her hips slowly.

"How's she feel, though? Good? Big?"

"Long," you shivered as Lottie's length started reaching parts of you that Shauna's didn't. "So fucking longh," you spit as Shauna jerked upwards and smirked at your strangled yelp.

"Perfect," the brunette purred, "because now that we've got our cocks in you, we're going to take you, knot you so fucking good until you can't speak, and breed you even better."

Your ears rang as the thrusts were started as a punishing pace; though Lottie's "punishing pace" was still far gentler than Shauna's at that moment. Everything was slick and wet, for even their pussies were still rubbing against you in this brutal, feral fucking the three of you found yourselves in.

"She's so goddamn tight, Lot," Shauna announced as her nose buried itself home into the bite mark she had made. "She smells like me -- like us -- she's perfect for us."

Lottie's breaths grew a little more uneven, her stature above you a lot less constrained the more Shauna spoke. She was trying to keep it together and you were grateful -- it was a lot, all of it was almost too much. The smells, the emotions, the pure sex of it.

"Yeah?" Lottie finally gets out, close to your head on the other side of your neck where the unbroken gland was. She nosed it and her eyes closed like she was enjoying a long beloved candle lit in her home. "Beautiful. Yes, Shauna."

Then she bit down just as Shauna struck -- her fingers finding the nub between moving bodies and giving it a harsh circle. It sent you careening over the edge for a third time, just as powerful and yelping out as it shook you.

You weren't all there anymore because by the time you were coming to, the base of her knot had become inflated and her movements had started growing relentless, struggling to get engorged part of her cock inside and keep her in.

Her mouth twitched as she jerked once, twice, three times and with a stretch that you'd feel for days after, worked her knot inside your cunt and bit down onto her mark for a second time just as she exploded inside of you.

Her orgasm was the catalyst for your forth, leaving with you no choice but to ride through the near-painful waves as she shot ropes of release into you, body shaking under you.

Lottie, meanwhile, was taking the endless pleasure you were getting as an opportunity to work her own knot into your ass, slower than Shauna, keeping her control on the tightest leash she possibly could.

As your orgasm shuddered away and you went limp, believing it to be over, she popped her own inside of you and she couldn't hold back the ugly noise that came out of her throat as her vision blurred.

One quick thrust, to her surprise, was all it took before she was orgasming inside of you and the startled moans from both girls beneath her led her to assuming you weren't finished with your orgasm, either.

The three of you fell into an exhausted heap as shockwaves were left to course their way through all of you. You were entirely filled to the brim and still, sometimes, a spurt would come out at the smallest jostle.

You couldn't help it -- you fell into the deepest sleep in your life.

It took three full days of similar events before, finally, the morning you next woke instead of being insanely horny you were insanely hungry.

Shauna was already awake looking exhausted and eyeing you suspiciously as she held out water to you. You inched forward and she inched back briefly for a moment, and you frowned. You reached out in this new mating bond and felt for her emotions.

You found a . . . hesitancy, and exhaustion.

"I don't want sex," you said, glancing at the forgotten cup of water in her hands. She slumped in relief as she handed it over and scooted back into your nest to curl around you again as though she weren't just trying to get away from you.

You'd be so fucking offended if her scent and touch wasn't so comforting right now. She nuzzled into your neck, silent and purring like an engine as Lottie remained absolutely lost to the world on your other side.

"Thank you," you said as she handed you strips of meat between sips of water. Her eyes were thoughtful and so, so soft. The Shauna from before the attic and your heat was gone, leaving behind an Alpha who was exposing a side of herself she seemed scared to show.

"You're a good Alpha," you told her as you ate the offered meal and drank your water.

"I--" she licked her lips and fiddled with the sleeves of her plaid shirt, nothing under it, "Lottie and I have only ever -- we've never been with Omegas. Betas, sometimes. I do not know how to take care of an Omega."

You blink in surprise at her. The ache in your bones was all moving to your heart at the admission in an instant. "Shauna." You cup her cheek, thumb drifting along the jawline you'd left bruises on. The bite mark you'd left on the other side of her neck, matching Lottie's on the opposite.

She leaned into your touch.

You smiled a little. "You took such good care of me, okay? I had no doubt of my safety with you and Lottie. I was protected and my needs were met."

"We -- we marked you. Your first heat." Her eyes were sad. "We took your choice away."

"No choice was taken, Alpha," you stated with firm reassurance. Sure, you were scared and you did not know what sort of future was ahead for you three when you got the hell out of this hellscape . . . but you knew Lottie and Shauna would be there. "I returned the marks, didn't I?"

Her forehead rested against yours, thumb running down yours as your hand was encased by hers.

"My clit hurts."

The bark of laughter that broke free from your chest woke Lottie, the other Alpha groaning in displeasure as Shauna's twinkling eyes met yours so sweetly.

"Please tell me we're out of heat mode," Lottie groaned. You pulled away from Shauna and turned around, leaning over to kiss your other Alpha's cheek.

"All better, Alpha," you murmured sweetly as she smiled up at you, gaze tired but affectionate as Shauna also scooted closer to join the two of you.

When you got redressed later that day after spending some quality time together, Jackie was the first to greet you despite how disgusting you apparently smelled.

Over your shoulder, the look she gave Shauna and Lottie when she realized your scent had changed to that of a mated Omega was nothing less than lethal.

[jubmato]

i cannot stop drawing ctommy girl HELP

based on

[queeringclassiclit]

congratulations to Anne Shirley and Diana Barry who now hold the top three highest 'no' votes this blog has ever seen. a rare win for the straights <3

[skitskatdacat63]

Fernando Alonso & His Relationship With Cards

I'm sure we're all familar with the cards on the back of Fernando's Vegas GP helmet by now, but did you know his relationship with cards goes a lot deeper?

I. Magic Tricks

You've probably seen or heard someone at least mention Fernando's propensity for card tricks. As far as I can tell he was doing them(publically) as far back as 2003 all the way to as recently as 2018. Even once performing a card trick, with a condom and a teddy bear(!??!?!??!!), in front of Valentino Rossi who said "How was that possible?"(x)

But how did this start? According to James Allen, "Fernando admits to having been heavily influenced by his grandfather, a mercurial figure, who taught him magic and card tricks, still one of his passions away from the race track."(x) And I'm not sure the validity of this one, because I couldn't find an actual source, but apparently he once said: "My parents are responsible for the two things I like doing most - driving and magic tricks. They bought me my first go-kart and a magician's kit."

In several interviews he described it as his hobby off track, and that he loved learning new tricks and surprising others in the garage with them! So clearly cards are pretty important to him both as a hobby but also to who he is as a person since they've been with him just as long as racing has.

II. Card Symbolism in His Helmets

This is the reason I originally made this post, but I thought I should also explain the origins of his card fascination first. As I said, we probably all remember the cards on the back of his helmet in Vegas, but did you know that wasn't the first time he had cards on the back of his helmet?

From 2008-2013, he used to have a pair of cards on the back of his helmets. The symbolisms of the cards themselves as well as the evolution of their design is really fascinating to me! Even more so with the recent development of the card choice in 2023.

Fernando said he wanted to reference his two titles in some way on the back of his helmet and after his friend sent him several ideas, he decided on having two cards(an ace of clubs and an ace of hearts, sometimes pictured with 05 and 06 on them as well), saying: "I picked the cloverleaf [the ace of clubs - Ed] to give me luck, but the only pity is that it doesn't have four leaves!"(X)

2008.

Here's the very first appearance of the cards! They're displayed flat, with the 05 and 06 clearly visible

2009.

Very similar to 2008, but with a slightly different design, and they're maybe a bit more straight with less shadow?

2010.

This is the first major change! I was sad they didn't have the years on them anymore, but then I realized they're sparkly to match with his signature lightning bolts on the top of the helmet!!

2011.

Honestly I'm still somewhat unsure if this is the actual 2011 helmet? It's pretty difficult to find clear photos of the back of helmets from older seasons. It's easiest to find them on replica sites or auction sites so I'm not 100%? But anyways, I like that this has the championship years on the underside of the cards

2012.

This is when I started getting weirdly emotional about the helmets. Do you see how they've progressed from being a centerpoint to being curled up and sad at the bottom of the helmet? Not listing the year anymore??

2013.

Same thoughts as 2012. And after this season, they cease to exist (just like his ferrari chair in the garage, WOAH CALLBACK), until cards make a reeappearance in his Vegas helmet, albeit in a different form

2013 Monaco(Honorable Mention):

For some reason 2013 helmets were easier to find proper pictures of, so I happened to witness this absolute beauty. The creativity of this helmet genuinely blows me away??? Wanting to keep the card motif, but making sure to incorporate it into the rest of the puzzle piece design?? Mwah! There was another special 2013 helmet but they didn't change the cards at all so I really applaud this one

2023 Las Vegas(The Return of The King):

The magnificent return! But look! The cards are different cards! Instead of being two aces, it's now an ace of hearts, a four of hearts(his driver number of course!) and, the, now iconic, representation of himself as a Joker. I literally could not believe my eyes when this helmet was released and I saw the Joker card, what a fucking silly old man....I really wonder if he felt nostalgic having cards on his helmet again or if he didn't think about it all and was just like, "ah cards because Vegas!!!"

III. Why Does This Matter?

*The rest of the post was factual, this is moreso my personal thoughts on the symbolism of the cards/designs

This post spawned from me recently watching the 2010 Bahrain gp and noticing "hey wait a minute...are those CARDS ON THE BACK OF HIS HELMET!?" It's a really tiny detail that's unfortunately covered up by the HANS device pretty much whenever he's wearing the helmet, so it's really difficult to spot! But I became fascinated with the fact that he had cards on his helmet before that recent helmet, and now here we are!

There's something to me about how the design of the cards evolves over the course of six seasons from the cards being front and center to being smaller, more folded up and closer to the bottom of the helmet. As I said, the 2012-2013 ones genuinely made me depressed because it feels, symbolically, like his hopes for getting another Ace are becoming more and more unlikely and falling away until they eventually fall falt and fade away entirely after 2013 and disappear for basically a decade.

But when they return? They're not the same cards! Instead of representing Fernando's championships, they now represent him as a person, displaying his driver number and his persona of being a Joker!! Though I do think it's interesting he happened to keep the Ace of Hearts, even though he talked more about the Ace of Clubs before. I'm not sure it's actually this deep in reality, but I like to think that it's him not letting his championships(and the lack thereof) define him, but rather letting who he is as a person shine and be the centerpoint instead! But on a sadder note, as @suzuki-ecstar said to me, maybe the Aces aren't there anymore because he's lost all hope for a chance at a third Ace entirely :(

[iguessitsjustme]

Something I find fascinating about Wandee Goodday is that no one has kissed yet (I know Ye and Cher have kissed but...) Like not a full on make out session despite having an established couple in the show that they could be using to show us kisses. But we get no kiss sex scenes from Yak and Dee and soft, somewhat chaste scenes from Ye and Cher. We all know both couples are fucking. But the lack of kisses where normally the show would have one couple more active in that department tells me how important kissing is to this story.

Dee has stated that it's silly but he doesn't want to kiss unless he loves that person and is serious with them. But the entire show is respecting the no kiss rule which tells me that it's not silly. The entire show is respecting Dee's boundary here. And yes, Yak and Dee have come so close to kissing so many times, but they haven't. Dee has always pushed him away and Yak has always respected it when he does.

It makes me wonder what's going to happen once the main couple does eventually lock lips. Will that open the floodgates? Will the audience get to see both couples kissing then? Or will it continue to withhold that specific moment of intimacy. There's something the show is saying about the expected parts of intimacy being taken for granted and also deserving of privacy and that's up to the people in the relationship.

Kissing can be an act of love and desire, but what the show is saying is that it is not a requirement for those things. I can be completely talking out of my ass here, but something about this is really sitting with me. Not only do we get Plakao as ace representation, someone who wants a partner to cherish and be cherished without sexual expectations, but we also get the show reinforcing the ideas that love comes in all forms with so many different acts and different people are comfortable with different things. And all of that is okay. And all of those boundaries are worthy of being respected. Regardless of societies expectations for what it means to be in a relationship and be physical, whatever is right for you is right and isn't that just beautiful?

[horsemeatluvr23]

etho doodle!!!!! this one is late because i was having an identity crisis and thinking about moving to lebanon. anyways the necklace is bdubs missing tooth from secret life <3

[starbuck]

plans for tomorrow include:

Doing my weekly bird survey (HUGE win for job experience and volunteer hours)

taking a BATH!!!!!!!! i got cool and fun bubble bath stuff that i’m gonna use!!!! very hype!!!!!!

[keikotwins]

:|

[babacontainsmultitudes]

[just venting a bit into the void you understand you understand 😌] Lately I've been feeling very caught between "I have a lot of thoughts on Sparrow and Normal and all that with the ending and teen talk and feel like I need to get them out and voice them for my own piece of mind and resolution" and "I am lacking the strength and energy to actually sit down and write it all out and kind of really just want to fully move on to other things (AUs, fics, anything else)" but my brain can't seem to commit to either and that's quite frustrating cause it's just left me very restless. *Sigh*. Idk! Just needed to complain about that a bit ig, it's silly but this is what has been ailing me as of late.

[seaofreverie]

We should normalize bringing these sort of "small talk ideas" cards to meetings with other people so that it's possible to avoid the awkwardness of not knowing what to talk about to kick things off or if it's considered normal to talk about this specific thing and AUGHGHFCG all this stuff.

[bitegore]

Got to dream about being Erica last night, which was cool. Specifically in like, a no-Haven AU but when I finally got to break out all of the poisons, dose literally all the food, and start smashing people's heads in with crochet mallets, my GOD that shit was satisfying.

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

Years of reading and writing disapproving parent fic have come back to haunt me, as I'M now the one committing faux pas in front of my partner's uptight parents 🫠✌️

[visenyaism]

I had a really funny idea where there was a 15 or something else gross y/o girl, a princess or some shit, and every POV who knows who she is gives her the ol' "wow wow so ☆beautiful☆" shit while people who don't know her (maybe she is in disguise?) mostly describe her by her pimples or her baby fat etc. And this kind of gives us a little joke at all those in- universe "history documents" that describe every damn woman as ☆so pretty☆. Thoughts?

even thought i know the schtick of fire and blood is that it is a misogynistic in universe history book i was still pretty bothered by its (and main canon to an extent)‘a fixation on the attractiveness or lack thereof of teenagers. main canon does a better job deconstructing the way in which being hot is a social expectation and associated with moral purity which you can infer extends to fire and blood where all the child brides are described as preternaturally beautiful as a justification for the practice but it’s still just OFF the rails. talking about who they are as people is so easy and i wish george would’ve done that a little more ngl